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December 6, 2021 • 2 min read
it’s hard
trust me, i know
especially the beginning
you were going about your daily life
and you were striving to become all that you have wanted to become
the future was looking bright and finally working in your favor
you were thriving
then suddenly
the whole world comes crashing down
like you were high speed driving and hit a tree
your car spun around
three hundred and sixty degrees
and set you
on another path
a natural disaster that that left you blinded in the aftermath
left you to figure it all out on your own
a new start from scratch
that’s the nature of disease
episodes of panic breathing
your heart beating so fast
hands fluttering like butterflies
you act fast
but with nowhere to turn
hormones are raging, your body is all out of whack
you can’t think, you can’t eat, you can barely breathe
you can’t help but feel trapped
like you are the only one
you don’t feel or look the same as before
and that’s the most frustrating part
you want to tell someone
but instead bite your tongue
there’s an unforgiving war waging inside your body
that you just can’t seem to overcome
at least it seems like it right now
you look to the sky and wonder why and how?
the truth is those answers may never be found
not in the skies or in the pages of books
to soothe your eyes with sound enlightenment
and that’s ok
it’s all about outlook
you must believe that you will get through it eventually
you will get the help you need
you will get your life back on track
I promise
just know that
some days
are harder than others
some days
you will feel like crying
some days
will feel like you’re barely surviving
some days
you will feel like you’re dying
some days
you’ll just want to stay in bed
all day
but this is your reality now
your “new normal”
some will understand
but most won’t
and that’s ok
you still must go on
and have the courage to face the day
stay strong
life doesn’t just stop in the face of malady
it’s time to dust off those shoes and put that power suit back on
walk into that office like nothing’s wrong
head held high
sit down in the chair
needle in vein
by now, you know the game
it’s just business as usual
go home
get sleep
feel better
take medicine
wake up in the morning
look into the mirror
 and tell yourself
you’re not a victim of this disease and you are more than just a survivor
in fact, you are none of those
you are better
than that
you’re a

About the author…

Having a chronic disease show up in your life unexpectedly can dramatically alter the trajectory of your life. I was a recent college graduate with a bachelor’s degree in biomedical sciences, aiming to further my education after graduation when Graves Disease suddenly appeared in my life changing the entire plan. After living with the disease for 5 years, I have learned to manage through it and still find ways to pursue my dreams. They may just look a little different now. I wrote this piece to remind myself and others that we can’t predict or change what happens to us in life but we can control our outlook. Living with a chronic illness is difficult but a shift in perspective will help you to heal and move forward and hopefully find purpose in the process.
IAF provides a platform to amplify the patient voice. Content on the IAF blog reflects the contributing author’s unique perspective, opinions, and experiences.

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